College pt. 2

I have a stick of deodorant. Cedarwood scent by Every Man Jack, whatever that means. Whenever I smell it I’m transported back to the dorm of my freshman year of college eight years ago. I must’ve worn it back then. Sometimes I huff the roll-on just to grasp at the memory of what that time was like. It’s early September and I’m full of fresh habits yet to sour. I’m up early. I’ve done my homework for my class Totalitarianism taught by a young leftie professor called Kevin who encouraged us to set fire to cars. It was in that class where we read Arthur Koestler’s Darkness at Noon, which was what got me interested in totalitarian governments, no thanks to Kevin, who was everything wrong with the laptop class. 

Now it’s April and I’m returning from spring break, where I did nothing really, except one time go to Montreal by train by myself, where I kissed a girl called Caroline on the ten hour Amtrak ride before she got kicked off the train at the Canadian border and wasn’t allowed to come in because she had a criminal record or something I never did find out the exact details. I stayed in an Air BnB, which was just the basement of a house full of French Canadians. They barely spoke English and I had to convince them to exchange my American dollars with their Canadian ones because I didn’t bring any. I walked all day every day, exploring many different parts of the city and had the best time. 

Back at school I’m applying Cedarwood deodorant by Every Man Jack and getting ready for poetry workshop. Reading my shit back it’s the worst thing I’ve ever read. It was where my friend Evan read his poem which included the line “a white please of thread” that I loved so much I’ve remembered it all this time. Night times felt very dark back then, I’d bundle my scarf around me. The air was crisp and biting, the sunlight clawed through the thinning trees by the dining hall. And then it was early evening, and I had piano practice ahead of me, or beers in the rank minifridge, or Arthur Koestler, brain overactive not settling or focusing really too much on one thing. Every Man Jack please sponsor me, your deodorants awaken such sweet and pained memories.